I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize