Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
