I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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