"it" just moved
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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