oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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