we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
