I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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