My first STD was from a foam party
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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