Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my sisters under your porch take her home
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
