Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
