Sponge bath it is.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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