Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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