Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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