Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
