There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
