Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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