youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize