Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
