im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
