I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
