He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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