nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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