Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
