I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
