I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
