he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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