u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize