is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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