Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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