I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
