don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize