I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
