His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You're like the curious george of whores
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize