OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
