I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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