my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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