It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
