Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You took a bar mat shot.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
