You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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