Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
