upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Actions speak louder than pants.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
