I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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