I should be sponsored by Trojan
ugly people sure do ruin things
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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