Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
