I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize