And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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