I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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