I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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