just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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