does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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