maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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