we have officially lost it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
