Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
