Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
