Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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