i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
