UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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