One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I touched a dick in church today
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
