he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
