he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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