I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
