There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
