we made out on top of his cat.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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