Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
