can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We talked him into tasing himself.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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