i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize